Cooking for Dummies
by D.C.1
Summary: NaruSasu; Take one brooding chef. Add a blond playboy. Mix until firm. Sample to taste.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

Take one brooding chef. Add a blond playboy. Mix until firm. Sample to taste.

**Author's Notes**

O hai.

I have been working on _Teddy Bears_ but I have been really busy with summer classes and work taking up most of my time.

To try and keep myself writing, I decided to do a little oneshot with my favorite pairing.

It's kinda dirty.

srsly

;D

**wut ... a partee?**

"Your date is pretty hot."

Naruto grinned at the comment from his old friend Kiba, taking a swig from his beer. "I just know how to pick them." He said, slouching against the wall and taking in the party that was milling about in front of him.

Beautiful faces passed by, all holding various liquids in their hands. Soft chatter filled the background like a blanket and everyone there was dressed to impress. The party was the usual end to a hot day in Malibu.

A pair of blue eyes, set in the face of one who was outside almost everyday of their life followed a figure standing near the long buffet. They traced over the tight blue shirt that highlighted the subtle muscles that coiled underneath, the lack of sleeves showing off the toned arms. He wanted to tangle his hands into the dark black hair that was reflecting blue highlights from the lights above.

Wanted to grab the hot ass that was poured into the pair of tight, pale jeans.

He swallowed a deep gulp of beer in an attempt to dislodge the dry lump that had formed in his throat at that thought.

"Are you sure you really know how to?" Kiba said, nudging him with an elbow. "I heard a rumor that your date is actually your cook."

"Personal chef."

"Whatever. It's the same thing." The brunet muttered, taking a sullen sip of his own drink. "I just don't know what a guy like him sees in a schmuck like you." Kiba muttered, "I hope for your sake that he sees the same thing as you."

The blond was baffled for a moment before he saw two other men at the party approach the dark haired male, lust apparent in their gazes. Before he could move to pound his fist into their faces, nobody looked at what was his that way, the man who was his date had moved silently, but purposely, away towards the window. This left the two stalkers confused, why would their prey move away, before they joined forces to follow the direction of the raven.

Naruto grimaced when, before he could run over and stake his claim, another person who knew him wandered up and grabbed his arm. "Ah! Naruto! I was just talking about you!" Pink hair filled his vision for a moment before the perky model bounced back.

Only after leaving her breasts pressed against the taller blond for at least thirty seconds.

"I was talking to my friend Ino, you know, your neighbor, and she said that you had a new chef! I want to know who she is!" She gushed, strangling Naruto's arm in a death hold as she glanced about the room for someone frumpy and awkward enough to fill the title of 'chef'.

"Actually, Ino is right over there! INO!" Sakura yelled loudly across the room, catching the attention of her fellow blonde model that had been stalking towards Naruto's date with a feral smile. "Get over here! We need to meet Naruto's chef!"

Sometimes being the editor of a male magazine was worth it. You got to hang around hot female models that took off all their clothes without being told and posed in provocative poses just for you. Then again…

Naruto groaned and looked down at the other busty woman clutched to his other arm, leaving Kiba looking at him in awe. You had to deal with the airheads after the shoot was over.

"Ah, Sakura, Ino. I don't know if you really want to meet my cook." He smirked, flashing a smile at a passing co-worker who looked like he had a little too much to drink. "I mean they're really boring. All they do is cook, and glare at me while they're cooking. I mean-"

"Oh, no problem, Naruto." Ino smiled a sickly sweet grin, swishing her long hair back and forth as she shrugged. "Besides, I've been chasing after someone all night long at this little shindig. I'm betting he'll finally look my way in a couple of minutes."

Sakura's grip tightened on Naruto's arm. "You better not be talking about that guy in the sexy pants." Her emerald eyes narrowed to slits as they glared at the other female across the editor's broad chest.

"Of course." Ino proudly stated, throwing her hair back again, "I've never seen him before, and he looks like someone who needs a fun time. He's going to be mine."

"Not if I get to him first." Sakura spat back.

Ino released Naruto to snarl at the pink-haired female, "In your dreams, Haruno."

"As if you have a millionth of a chance getting with him, Ino-Pig." Sakura growled, pointing her finger to tap it against the barely clothed chest of the other model.

In a moment, the two centerfolds from the months of August and December, respectively, began a bitch fight over a man who neither had been properly introduced to.

Also neither of the women noticed the darkening eyes of the editor known as Kyuubi; both for his ferocious, destructive nature when taking charge of his magazine, only if something went wrong of course, in addition to his foxy ways with the ladies. His nickname was mostly due to his interactions with the fairer sex and his 'love them, then leave them' attitude.

Too bad he was currently focusing all of his attentions on the aloof man who was ignoring everyone coming near him, ranging from the bursting-out-of-their-dresses females to the men with the fake tans and wide, white smiles.

With a tight grimace towards Kiba, whose eyes were firmly locked into place on the heaving breasts of the two models, Naruto crossed through the crowd towards his chef who was looking at the famous Southern California waves.

"Oi, Sasuke."

At the mentioning of his name, the slimmer man turned, a glass of champagne bubbling in his long, pale fingers. The pants, which Naruto and most of the population of the party had noticed, hung low on a pair of hips. Granting anyone who looked more than a few seconds a delicious sliver of flesh in-between the skin-tight skirt and jeans. The blue shirt, so deliciously tight, gave the almost translucent skin a blue tint, and the dimmed lights emphasized the faint outline of a soft hipbone.

And how Naruto wanted to lick across that bone, tasting sweat and something else that personified the stoic chef. To get him to loosen up, if the deadpan glare was anything to go by.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I don't blame you for being mad at me for abandoning you." The blond chuckled nervously, remembering how they had abruptly parted once they had walked into the party.

A dark eyebrow rose as Sasuke turned to his employer, swirling his glass idly. "I'm not mad at you."

"I left you alone."

"I'm perfectly fine alone." The deep voice said sincerely as he placed his glass on a passing waiters plate.

A tan hand grabbed the wrist as Naruto dragged his hired help onto the dance floor.

"Temari's here." He said. No, his demanding ex-girlfriend wasn't here. "Let's dance." Naruto whispered to Sasuke, running his tongue over the shell of the ear when he didn't answer quickly enough.

The blond molded his body to the raven, pulling him close and ignoring the twin squeals of anger and disbelief that alerted him to Sakura and Ino seeing him with the 'sexy pants guy'. After a moment, and feeling as if there was still space in between them, Naruto pressed his hand to Sasuke's back to draw him closer against him. Through their clothes, his cock brushed against Sasuke's own hardness.

A wicked leer lit up the editor's face as he looked down at his dancing partner, laughing softly at the pale blush the dusted over the slender nose.

"I see a guy you might like." Naruto murmured to Sasuke as they spun slightly, killing any mood that might have been developing.

A pair of dark eyes flashed up in moody anger, clashing with the sparkling blue orbs. "Oh?" He said testily with his hand fisting in the dark red fabric of his employer's shirt, the faint blush vanishing in an instant.

In fact the only reason he was even at this party was because he seemed like a good way to 'fight off' Naruto's ex who still wanted to get together. To try and sweeten the deal, of course, his boss promised had him that he would find him a nice 'gay, pansy-boy' that Sasuke could settle down with.

As long as he remained his cook and made that miso ramen he loved so much.

"Yeah. Real hot. Grey hair. Mask on the lower half of his face." Sasuke stumbled when Naruto swung him around hastily, so he would be able to see the man in question.

"The one reading the orange book."

"Sure…" The dark-haired man mumbled, his eyes glancing at the reading pervert in the corner.

"Looks like your type."

Sasuke tripped into Naruto's chest, ignoring his wildly beating heart as he righted himself.

"I could introduce you. He's a close friend of my family." Naruto smirked down, wanting to throw the other man off balance physically and mentally. "Want me to?" He asked, breathless, as he jerked the other man up slightly so their eyes were even, also settling his throbbing erection a little under the other man's.

Instead of the chef backing down, the blond felt his hold go a little slack when he heard Sasuke mumble something that might have been affirmative across his cheek. The warm breath across his face, though, couldn't erase the short sentence that Naruto heard.

"If it makes you happy."

"Wha…?" When the blond looked down to see if his chef was joking, sometimes he did that with a biting sarcasm when he prepared dinner, but all he saw was a pair of dark eyelashes shielding the almost black eyes and the fringe of Sasuke's hair closing off any other means of discovering his true emotions.

"Excuse me." With that, the shorter man turned and fled out the back door, ignoring a hand that groped him as he passed, and stumbling once he hit the soft sand of Malibu.

Naruto stood dumbly on the dance floor, his body screaming at the loss of heat from his partner, and it was only when a pair of nails bit into his hand did he notice Sakura dragging him back to the group he was talking to before.

"Naruto. You didn't tell me you knew him." She grit out from behind clenched teeth. Her eyes flashed a violent green color that reminded him of the vegetables Sasuke had cut up for breakfast that morning.

"You didn't ask."

The snide answer bounced off the model like a rubber bullet, "You should have told us anyway, Naru. It is polite."

"Not that you are polite." Ino hissed. "Bastard." Before her talons could join in with Sakura's to shred apart the editor, her current love interest, named Shikamaru, dragged her away with a muttered 'how troublesome'.

"Who is he?" Sakura demanded, not caring that she was possibly offending the man who employed her.

"My personal chef."

Her painted mouth gaped like a fish, opening and closing.

"But, but, but, he's so handsome! He can't be a cook!" She howled, jumping up and down in a little tantrum.

"His name is Sasuke Uchiha. Google it." Naruto said, his chest filling with pride when he thought of the current, world famous chef whose daring culinary endeavors would grace only his table.

Just as Sasuke should grace Naruto's presence at all times.

"I have to go now." He abruptly said, a frown marring his perfectly tanned features. "Something more important needs my attention."

Leaving Sakura glaring at his back, and Kiba laughing at the mess that he had got himself into, Naruto stomped out the back door of the house the party was being held in. The moment he stepped into the sand, his forward moment slowed. The soft and deep particles pulled at his feet and filled his shoes quickly.

Moving in the direction he thought he remembered seeing his dance partner run off in, the editor called Kyubi paused when he saw two figures locked in an embrace. Expecting Sasuke to be avoiding any couples at this time, he started to move away until he heard a muffled protest.

"I said no." A firm voice said followed by the firm thud of a fist hitting a solid chest.

Deciding to investigate, Naruto wandered a little closer, only to find the man he was looking for right in front of him.

Skin almost as fair as Sasuke, though with a sickly pallor, yanked hard on Sasuke's arms and dragged him back into a fierce kiss. The click of teeth was heard, barely muted by the sea's waves, as a long tongue forced its way into an unwilling mouth. A splash of blood threaded down Sasuke's chin, the other man had bitten his lip in his advances and it was leaving a sluggish trail a dark red.

"Oi!"

The two separated quickly while breathing harshly.

"Hello, Naruto. You're looking well tonight. That break from the office is doing you some good I see." Orochimaru said, roughly jerking a squirming Sasuke against his emaciated body. "Have you met Sasuke? We're friends from far back." A twisted smile found its way to the man's face when the chef stopped in his struggles to lie limply in his grip.

The blond felt his hands tighten and something in his heart burn painfully when he spotted the defeated look on Sasuke's face, a trickle of blood still oozing sluggishly from the jagged slash on his lip.

"Go, Orochimaru." He hissed darkly. The sand no longer held him back when he moved forward.

"Ah, ah, fine." The pallid man responded, about to move away, yanking the shorter man with him.

"Leave him."

Yellowed eyes snapped up to the blond in a glare. "Why, Naruto? Why ever would I do that when I finally found Sasuke?" His other hand, the one not gripping a wrist painfully, brushed against a cheek playfully and twisted itself in tightly in raven locks.

Sasuke grimaced, but he made no sound of protest and his eyes simply twisted tighter shut.

"Now." And without waiting for a reply, Naruto was suddenly shoving a fist into the soft features of Orochimaru. The satisfying crunch of the bones in the nose reverberated their way up the man's arm, and the blond twisted his fist before he pulled it back.

As Orochimaru fell, Naruto pulled Sasuke towards him, hefting him into a bridal style hold and striding over the sand much quicker than before. Without going back into the house, and the party, the editor strode to the front and demanded the valet to bring his car immediately.

The rest of the motions were a blur, and it was only when Naruto was pulling up to his own large house did he finally risk a glance over to the only passenger in his Porsche.

A pair of dull eyes looked out the window bleakly, a pale hand gripped loosely around the handle more as something for the appendage to do than actually holding the person's body in place. The blood that coated a pale chin had mostly dried due to the air conditioning from the vehicle, but the lip itself still glimmered in the streetlights.

"Sasuke?"

The body jerked abruptly in the seat and opened the door, slamming it shut, leaving Naruto alone in the car. His blue eyes followed the other man as he stomped up the stone steps to the mansion.

Naruto grunted as he unfolded himself from the vehicle, running a hand briskly through his blond spikes as he followed in the footsteps of his fleeing chef. He paused when he reached the door and properly closed it behind him when he slipped through.

"Sasuke?"

There was a brief silence before he heard the sound of chopping coming from the kitchen.

"Of course." Naruto muttered, walking into his state of the art kitchen and seeing the person who had drawn him here. The infuriating, obnoxious, moody, sexy, mysterious chef who was in demand all over the world but who had stubbornly decided to channel all of his culinary genius into being a chef for a single man. The thought brightened the blonde's mind for a moment but then he remembered where he was.

And whom he was watching silently from the doorway.

Slim fingers chopped celery coarsely, recklessly hacking into the vegetable and just missing the digits that held it in place. Next to his right arm was a large bowl that was already partially filled with en concasse tomatoes, their pulpy surface glittering from the rough damage they had gone through, and something that looked like diced cucumbers. On the other side of his body an onion sat innocently and a bottle of vinaigrette with its tap tightly screwed on.

"I know you don't like pimentos." His voice said, calmly stating out the preferences of his employer.

Naruto left his post from outside the realm of Sasuke and stepped inside, pulling a seat up to the counter across from the chef. "Yeah…" His eyes struggled to see if there was anything wrong, but the man directly in front of him seemed to be acting the same as he did everyday.

"Look, Sasuke, Orochimaru-"

"Don't."

The dark-haired man turned to the refrigerator and pulled out a cold bowl filled with cooked elbow pasta. Slamming it onto the counter, he grabbed the onion and cut off one end and his fingers trembled slightly as he tore off the brown husk. Taking his large knife, he cut it length wise and dropped on half face down on the board and went to work on the other one.

"It's nothing. Just something I did when I was a stupid kid." He ground out from clenched teeth, his knife flashing in strange intervals from the overhanging fluorescent lights.

Naruto noticed that he hadn't washed off the blood that had splattered onto his chin.

"It was my own fault and I had to pay for it." Thick slices of onion were formed and were skillfully separated into strips and cut again into smaller sections. They were thrown into the bowl with the macaroni and the pair of shaking hands stirred them quickly, reaching over and grabbing the other bowl filled with other ingredients to combine them both.

Sasuke reached for the other half of the onion. "I said no, but sometimes people don't take no for an answer. Sometimes people just don't know how to prove their affection in different ways. Sometimes people are too dumb to know when to-" A sudden jerk and Sasuke was running to the sink, cradling his hand to his chest, and simultaneously interrupting his cooking and the revealing of his past.

Naruto was right behind him, his back ramrod straight at listening to his usually stoic chef go on a rant.

His hands clamped onto the sink, one on either side of the man that was still wearing his tight party clothes, and he leaned over to box Sasuke against the counter. He decided to ignore the stiff posture of the dark-haired male and what it possibly meant.

"Sasuke." He breathed, feeling his chest slightly touch the chef's back. "Do you want me to help you forget?" Naruto whispered, breathing in the scent that was solely 'Sasuke', a strange yet seductive scent of vanilla, almond extract, and something that might have been sawdust.

"I'll make it feel good." His hand crept around to rest against the flat plane of Sasuke's stomach, the muscles taunt at his actions.

"I'll help you forget." He repeated as he rested his chin on Sasuke's shoulder.

"Don't." The chef looked down at his hand, the slim cut from the knife no longer bleeding, the cold water turning his hands a chalky white color. "You sound like him."

The four words, grouped together in such a way, caused Naruto to jerk back.

"What did you say?" He hissed.

Tense shoulders were all he saw for a moment before Sasuke turned, raising his eyes slowly to suddenly lock their black depths with the blue of his employer. His eyes broke contact and drifted over the macaroni salad he had been making. The large knife was in the same position as when it had fallen from limp fingers. A lone splotch of blood had landed on the counter, but not close enough to the food to fear contamination.

"You heard me." His dark eyes narrowed and he glared at Naruto, a spark of his normal attitude coming back. "Just because you hire me out of the blue, expect me to play boyfriend for you, help you sneak out of your responsibilities, doesn't mean I have to tell you everything. God, you just want me here to fill you up with food and at 'fill' the spot next to you at parties." His thin fingers made air quotes as the words were spat from his lips.

"People like you make me sick. You're the type of person who made me hate working in the restaurant business. Using someone's body as a way to control them. Playing a part for everyone."

Naruto watched in shock as the other man ripped off his shirt, somehow peeling it off in one fluid motion that the blond would never be able to master in a million years. Before he could ask what he was doing, not that he was complaining at the sudden strip show, his eyes widened in disbelief when he finally saw what Sasuke wanted him to see.

The scar.

Slashing its way from slightly behind his left shoulder, and cutting dangerously close to his neck, the scar cut across a pale chest and ended slightly to the right of the delicate looking belly button. As if someone had stabbed a serrated knife into the pale shoulder and then jerked it down in one quick, brutal movement. Small staple scars marred the jagged line on either side, outlining the only thing that kept the body in front of Naruto from being perfect.

Breathing heavy, and gripping his shirt tightly in one hand, the chef backed against the counter. "You can't make me forget. Anymore then he could make me feel. Or how he tried to control me." He spat like an angry cat.

"I have to go now. I'll be back tomorrow to finish the salad and your breakfast." Sasuke said with a tone of finality, walking out the kitchen and into the living room to approach the front door.

He didn't see the body that was propelling itself towards him.

He should've heard Naruto's feet slap against the tile floor to catch up to him.

He couldn't have predicted his boss suddenly deciding now was a good time to jump his chef.

The tongue rasping along the beginning of his scar on his shoulder was another surprise he wasn't expecting.

"…Hmm…Sasuke." The words vibrated against the smaller man's neck, sending a chill through him. "Why do you have to act this way, hn?" The wandering hands found their way to a tight pair of pants and fiddled with the button.

Sasuke struggled underneath the blond, trying to push his way out from his position slammed against the couch. "W-what are you-ng! What are you doing!" He said, ignoring the fact that his struggling motions forced his body into the natural curve of Naruto's body.

"Nothing you don't want me to do." He ground his cock into the backside offered to him, grinning at the strangled mewl that escaped from a pair of panting lips.

His tactful hands popped open the button and reached inside. For a moment his motions stopped in astonishment and then they rubbed vigorously against the hardness. "Someone seems to have forgotten something today." Naruto said playfully, wiping his thumb across the weeping tip and smearing the pre-cum onto his hand.

Flipping the chef over on the couch, he let his eyes rake over the sight before him, placing his hands firmly on the unclothed hips.

"Ah-! Please stop it…!" A pale flush covered the visible skin, tinting Sasuke a light pink, and giving an innocent glow to the man. Nervous chewing on his lip had opened up the cut again, but it also made his lips appear bigger. The pants had been yanked down around his thighs and nestled in a thatch of dark curly hair was the object in question Naruto was focusing all his energy on.

"No. I don't think so." He stated, wrapping his hands around the base and giving it a couple of pumps. "You see, Sasuke, I have to say you've been tempting me. I've resisted for a while now," A pink tongue flicked out to run up the length, "But now it's time I had some fun.

"And I think you're liking this." Another flash of his teeth was all the Sasuke was able to see before his cock disappeared into a hot mouth, leaving only his hands to grab the short blond hair.

"W-why?" Sasuke whispered and his blunt nails scrapped against Naruto's scalp, his head tilted back, ramming into the cushions as he bit back the need to scream.

A grunt was caught in his throat, feeling the blond on top of him growling in warning when he wriggled on the couch to vigorously. His hands tightened their grip on the hair when the teeth scrapped against the sensitive flesh and he couldn't hold back a drawn out moan when the suction increased.

The heat suddenly left with a pop, and a pair of dazed eyes looked down to see a smile and slanted blue eyes as Naruto rested his chin on Sasuke's stomach, licking his lips. "You sound like a cat." He said bluntly after a moment, hands rubbing up and down against the slim sides as if relishing the texture of the skin underneath them.

"But I wonder if you purr, Sasuke? Like a little kitten?"

The tongue that Naruto loved to use came out to play again, flattening as it ran a path up from the junction when the groin met the leg to the edge of the gruesome scar tissue. Instead of following the path the disfigurement made, the pink muscle dipped into the bellybutton and Naruto hummed as Sasuke arched into the feeling wantonly.

"Are you going to purr for me, Sasu-kitty?" The fingers tickled their way up to the pert nipples. They gave them a squeeze and a little twist before rubbing roughly. "I would really like that." A lean, fully clothed body followed. The red silk rasping as it moved against the heated flesh.

Arching his back, Sasuke tried to hold back a whimper as the mouth continued its path upwards, settling on the nipple to replace the pair of hands that traveled downwards to work on the button of the black wool pants. A moment later a firm erection sprung out and bumped against Sasuke's own.

Before he could groan at the sensation, Sasuke had to bite his lower lip again when a tan hand reached down to grip both organs in one grasp. A quick jerk of the wrist made the paler man writhe and arch his back.

"A-ah! Naruto-you can't-!" His fingers lost their grip on the coarse blond hair and his hands struggled for purchase on the silk fabric covering broad shoulders. "I… I… I'm going t-to-!"

"I know." The taller man groaned, his teeth afterwards sinking into the pale column of flesh and lapping at the little beads of blood that sprouted. "Just come."

Naruto grunted when he felt Sasuke stiffen and bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn't miss the breathy gasp that escaped the red lips, a thin layer of blood coating them and making them glisten from the light still on in the kitchen. He ignored the mess on his shirt; truth be told, it filled him with a perverse pride, and shifted his weight slightly so he could stand up.

"Ah, Sasuke, that wasn't so bad, was it?" He asked the cook, unbuttoning his shirt to flick it onto the ground and staring at the sticky cum splattered on the pale chest in front of him.

"In fact, I think," He smeared a tan digit through the substance and rubbed it between his two fingers with a thoughtful expression, "We should do this again sometime. I had a good time. You had a good time.

"And this'll really keep Temari off my case."

With a grin and a laugh, he turned to walk upstairs, not noticing the blank stare Sasuke gave to his back before letting his head fall limply back onto the couch.

The way he lifted his hand up to rub against his un-kissed lips.

How his eyes became, if possible, duller, and looked unblinkingly up at the ceiling.

When he mouthed the word 'fuck' and rubbed at the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"He's just like him." He informed the empty room.

And then the sun California was famous for rose slowly, illuminating the living room with a rosy glow, making the sand sparkle as the waves lapped against them to create a noisy backdrop.

"It happened again."

Emphasizing the crushed form of one Sasuke Uchiha. Genius of the culinary world who was currently employed by one Naruto Uzumaki, editor of the men's magazine 'Stuft w/ Cherries' and who was an all around playboy.

Sasuke grimaced and stood, ignoring the state of his body and walking out the front door to his car.

He was the man who just kept making the same mistakes over and over again with different people in different places.

So he would solve it the same way as before.

By running away.

**wait ... wut is goin on naow?**

**Author's Notes**

did u lik tha, bby?

Any who, this is a oneshot.

Possibly another chapter if I get enough reviews.

Tell me what I did wrong? Share your thoughts?

Tell me I suck at writing and I should stop?

D:


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

Take one brooding chef. Add a blond playboy. Mix until firm. Sample to taste.

**Author's Notes**

School is hard, especially when taking too many credits, still working 30+ hrs/week, and applying to grad school. Writing smut and new stories is fun in my little spare time.

You guys suck.

This was supposed to be a oneshot…shit.

**o, uh. hi?**

Naruto was glaring.

This was not an uncommon sight. The senior editor was prone to random outbursts of anger. They were often quick, uncalled for, and ended with a few of the staff getting fired and then rehired three, four, or seven times in twenty minutes.

Naruto had been glaring for over two months. He glared at his paperwork. He glared at the modeling pictures for the next issue. He glared at his cold cup of coffee. He glared at the employees who came for interviews to fill the positions of the people he had glared away. He glared at Tenten; his new secretary after his glaring had driven his old secretary to resignation due to his undiluted rage.

Nobody knew exactly why the man was glaring. All they knew is that it was getting old, and slightly creepy, to see the grown man staring with such intensity at his computer screen.

"Eh, Naruto. Maybe you should take a vacation or something?"

A pair of blue eyes snapped up and narrowed when they landed on the white-haired man in the doorway. The man was picking his nose with his pinky finger and flicked it away, continuing to read the mock up in his hand. "Your work is shit when you're pissed."

"Shut up old man." Naruto ground out, his hands clenching into fists.

"Just saying, just saying!" The older man grinned and waved flirtatiously at a pair of models who passed, "Maybe you need to get away for a while."

Naruto glared again, though this feature had been cemented onto his face so much that no visible change was noted. The felt pen in his grip screeched a line of red across the draft when he flinched at a door slamming down the hall. A curse was barked out as he banged his hands on his desk and violently pushed back in his chair. "And now you made me mess this up! God, Jiraiya! Do you have it out for me?"

A deep chuckle was his answer when the owner of the magazine settled his ample weight on the large mahogany desk. "Tsk, I know. It's always my fault." He slapped the rolled up mock in his other hand.

"Actually, there was a reason I came down here from the thirtieth floor. Cutting short a very important meeting to talk to you."

"Your wife found out about you hustling models and was chewing you out." Naruto cut him off before the older man could continue.

It wasn't a question, but rather a statement.

Jiraiya cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I have a proposition for you. I need you to check out our mother office over in Burbank." Jiraiya cracked his neck and stared out the window across the smog of L.A. "As you know, our branch just opened, but I've been unable to go over and check out with the vice president to see how we're doing against the New York branch.

"It'll get you out of my hair, and give you a little time to relax." He walked out the door, waving his hand behind him and snapping his fingers at a different passing model. This one was in a bikini walking to the photo shoot. She laughed at the boss's actions, sending a spasm of jiggles through her frame and Jiraiya's tongue toward the floor.

"Maybe you should stop that so I don't have to screen your wife's calls."

"I love and fear her very much. She knows that."

"Yet I keep getting calls at three in the morning telling from her me to bring you back from the strip club. That it's not considered research, and she will chop off my balls if I don't do so."

A snort. "Maybe you should fix your own relationship troubles before barging into mine. This little trip will get your away from her, and it'll help you sort out that little thing with the cook."

Naruto's face went slack after hearing the last sentence, groaning and banging his head on his desk. That was the reason why he wanted to stay here. What if Sasuke came back? Sure, he hadn't heard from him in two months, but that didn't mean anything. Right?

Right.

The blond fiddled with the mouse on his desk, sending the screensaver packing as a virtual display of the magazine for next January popped up. Ignoring the opened article that asked the question, 'what _is_ the different between a slut and a whore?', the editor clicked on the web browser.

After a second, the company's interoffice-webpage popped up. Following a couple links, and typing off a quick e-mail, Naruto leaned back and stared at the ceiling waiting for a response.

"I'm right outside your door."

He concentrated on balancing a pen between his upper lip and nose.

"You couldn't just open the door and say, 'Hey. Tenten. Why don't you do what I hired you to do and get me a car that I can use? Oh, yes. It is wonderful weather we're having." The stony face of his secretary could have cut diamonds. "You had to email me instead of getting up off your ass and making pretty talk for a couple seconds."

The pen clattered to the floor.

"Which one of us is taking the next vacation?"

The woman leaned against the doorjamb, rolling her eyes at her employer. "I called in the usual for you. Aston Martin. It'll be here in ten minutes." At the groan from Naruto she continued, "I also called up the New York office. The call has been transferred to your Bluetooth." A pointed look at the small device blinking on the desk. "I'm going to lunch."

Glaring at her back, foul mood cementing into place, the head-editor of the L.A. branch picked up the phone. "This is Naruto Uzumaki. Uh, New York?"

A smooth voice replied. "This is Haku, head assistant to the editor. I was told that you needed to talk to Mr. Hyuuga?"

Naruto paused, his brain attempting to decide if it was a woman or man on the other end as he clipped the piece of plastic to his ear. "Ah. Yes. I'm leaving my office right now, but I was hoping that I could catch him in between clients?"

Nodding to his secretary, who gave him a folder filled with undestroyed magazine mock-ups, along with a well-practiced stink eye, Naruto rushed past a couple interns on his way to the elevator. "It would be really nice if we could at least talk once before I had to see him New York in a couple weeks."

"Ah. I'm sorry, Mr. Uzumaki, but he's already out for the day."

"But it's only eight in the morning!" He asked incredulously, walking through the lobby and avoiding the huge purse of a passing woman. Glancing at his watch, he reaffirmed his comment to New York time, "Okay, it's eleven there. Why isn't your head editor in his office?"

Slipping on his sunglasses, and ignoring the dirty look a grandmother shot him for being too young and blond, he leaned against the chrome and glass building that housed almost every part of the new 'Stuft w/ Cherries' offshoot. He was now being forced to visit the original magazine headquarters, just to make sure they were on the right track with things.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Uzumaki. The editor often leaves early Friday afternoons."

"Well, is there anyway I can reach him? This is inconvenient." Naruto grumbled as a red vehicle pulled up slowly to the curb, purring in a show of power and sophistication. Drawing a couple lust-filled stares from teenage boys and men alike.

The grandmother from before just seemed to glare harder as she bit into an apple. How dare he be young, blond, successful, and drive a killer car? Life was just unfair.

A small sigh came from the assistant, who was obviously used to dealing with idiots who thought they were important. After all, he was living in New York. "Mr. Uzumaki, I'm sorry the head editor is not here today. If you want you can try again on Monday, if you like."

"Well, do you know where he is?"

Another long-suffering sigh came from across the continent. "Yes."

"Can you tell me?"

"No."

"Cell phone?"

"No."

"E-mail?"

"No."

"Anything?"

Naruto held his breath at the pregnant pause.

"No."

Cursing, he slammed his hand against the wall behind him. "I'll just have Tenten call you."

The defeated editor refused to acknowledge the smug, 'of course, sir' coming from the other end of the line. He didn't have time for this; his ride was here and waiting.

Naruto nodded at the man waiting next to the car, sliding in to take the leather-bound wheel. Looking at the traffic, and seeing a free spot, he merged and began his trip. Clipping a Bluetooth to his ear with one hand, he quickly dialed another number. Time to deal with another annoyance.

After numerous rings, and a couple miles down the road, someone finally picked up.

"Yo."

A horrible, unprofessional greeting, but Naruto forged onwards. "Hey. It's Naruto. Are you in your office?"

"Of course." A raspberry sound from the other end, sounding slightly muffled, "Where else would I be but working my assigned hours faithfully?"

"Alright. Well I'm coming over to your branch to check some stuff out with you for Jiraiya."

"And I shall be waiting with baited breath for you with open arms." Naruto snorted down a laugh, cutting into another lane unexpectedly to avoid a girl texting in an Escalade.

"Yeah. Sure. See you in a bit. You better be there." Disconnecting so the person wouldn't hear a string of impressive cursing, Naruto quickly took the next exit and began to head west. Which was the exact opposite direction of Burbank, towards Malibu.

He knew the vice president wouldn't be there. It was a beautiful Friday without a cloud in sight. "Working my ass…

"If I know him," He muttered darkly, staring at the sea of pavement being eaten by his vehicle, "He's probably cutting today just to irritate me."

**travlin' song!**

It was a beautiful house. A blue stone driveway crunched underneath the car and lead through a three-acre property. Red shutters opened to invite sun and a gentle breeze in, while the wrap around porch had rocking chairs placed strategically for the best ocean view. But Naruto took no notice of this picturesque setting.

He had just stepped in dog shit.

Put into an even worse mood, he stomped up to brick walkway to the abode. The scrambling of many feet announced his arrival on the porch. A chorus of howls began when he banged abruptly on the door. Luckily, the person on the other side with opposable thumbs reached the door rather quickly.

"Yo."

A pack of dogs ran outside when the door opened, passing around Naruto like a stream around a rock.

"I need to get groceries."

"Wait, what?" Naruto stared at, technically his boss, in confusion. The man did not look like he should be going outside, much less going to the store.

A mop of grey hair that had a passing relationship with the hand that ran through it, a brush a long-ago fantasy. Coupled with bare feet and heavily wrinkled clothes could lead to only one conclusion:

"Who is she? Who are you banging?"

The older man hesitated and, before he could make up a blatant lie, a voice came from behind. "Kakashi? You probably won't get what I like so I'll just come with you." A voice that was horribly familiar. A voice that was horribly familiar and should never, ever, come from the kitchen of Naruto's boss at eight forty-five in the morning.

"No…no, no, no."

"Oh." Hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, dressed in clothes just as wrinkled, with a spring in his step, Naruto's surrogate family walked up. "Hi, Naruto. I was just sending Kakashi out to get some ingredients."

"Why are you here? With him? What did he do?" The blond looked from the tanner man to the pale one who was looking out at his numerous pets on the lawn. "Is it the dogs? Iruka, please tell me you didn't sleep with him to get to the dogs. I could buy you a dog!" He was becoming frantic at the horrifying thoughts that were brewing.

"What? Naruto, stop being ridiculous. Kakashi and I have been dating for over seven years." Iruka pointedly ignored the gasp and wheeze from the blond slumping against the wall. "I know you know this. Don't play dumb.

"Anyway, Kakashi has a friend over right now, and since we have to get some food, try not to be so loud. We'll be back soon." Iruka grinned at the younger man, patting him fondly, but roughly, on the shoulder as he passed. Grabbing the arm of Kakashi, who was staring at the slowly turning ceiling fan, they made their way to the front door around Naruto. Opening the door to let in another torrent of dogs going in the other direction, the two men disappeared.

After a few seconds, shaking to rid him of the awful images conjured in his mind, Naruto slipped off his shoes and coat at the front door. Hearing a TV deeper in the house, and a trail of canines showing him the way, the man shuffled towards the living room. Where Kakashi's guest was most likely vegging out in front of the television with a bag of chips.

Naruto thought of the person who he was most likely going to meet, grimacing at the idea of the pervert and the permanent layers of dog fur that were already clinging to his dress shirt. He hated visiting Kakashi at home.

Stepping into the dimly lit room, Naruto could only stare at the man sitting on the couch. Clothed in a pair of ratty sweatpants cut above only one knee, with three bags of frozen vegetables covering the visible right leg, a pale brunet sucked leisurely on a lollipop stick.

"Sasuke?"

Black eyes glanced up from the Kindle propped up on a pug sleeping in his lap. "I don't know who the hell you think you are, no-dick." He took a sip from a glass of water and resumed ignoring the man.

A tightness in Naruto's chest, which he didn't even know was there, loosened. It wasn't him.

"So…what did you do?" The editor asked, stepping over a huge mastiff to take a seat in a leather chair facing the television. "You are hurt, yeah?" He gestured helplessly at the leg in an attempt to start a conversation.

The other man paused, gave a sigh, and turned his stoic features towards the blond, "I tripped over one of Kakashi's dogs." He nodded at the animal snoring and drooling only a foot or two away, "That one in particular. Tried to step over it and then it decided to stand. Made me fall down a flight of stairs.

"Had to wait for Kakashi to finish his business upstairs with his friend before I could get taken to the hospital. Might have an ACL injury. Going back late today to get it checked out since the weekend is coming up."

Naruto winced, because what else could you do when you heard about that type of injury, and tried to ignore the comment about Kakashi possibly sexing up Iruka. It was not something he really wanted to hear at ten in the morning. Scratch that, it was something he didn't want to hear about for the rest of his life. He was happily in denial.

With the comment said, and the television turned onto a Lifetime movie, the two men were content to ignore each other and resume a different activity. Naruto watching the story about a dance teacher falling love with his student and using the mother as a cover, the still unnamed man beginning his novel on the eReader again.

Halfway through a commercial on cat food that was slightly more entertaining than the movie, the phone began ringing. When the other man made no move to touch it and take a message, Naruto relaxed against the couch and idly scratched at the huge mastiff that had placed its huge head in his lap.

"Hello. This is Kakashi Hatake of Cherries Co. Sorry I couldn't make it to my phone. If you need information about the expansion, policy, or branches, please call the main company phone line, extension 6323. All others please reply after the beep. Thanks."

"KAKASHI."

Both men flinched at the rage on the other end. A few dogs neither had seen scampered from the room.

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? I WENT TO YOUR OFFICE AND YOU'RE MISSING. YOU GET HERE RIGHT AWAY OR I'M GOING TO CHOP YOUR DICK OFF."

The loud click echoed from the answering machine, a small beep following.

The next few messages were in a similar vein. It seemed like the VP hadn't told anyone he was taking the day off to kanoodle with his boyfriend. The slighted clients/assistants/models/other departments were not amused and decided to take all their pain and suffering on the simple answering machine recorder.

After the first six messages claiming they would kill Kakashi when he came into work on Monday, and he had better come into the office to sign important paperwork, the injured man sighed and hobbled onto one leg.

"I am getting to my room before I give into the temptation to delete all the messages and get Kakashi into even worse shit than he is already in." With a nod to Naruto, more of shake of the head in pity at him having no penis, he moved slowly down the hallway. Once he made it to an adjacent room, he slammed the door due to another phone call beginning its peal from the machine

This message detailed how they were going to salt Kakashi's intestines if he didn't get THE REPORT in on time Monday.

Naruto made a mental note of Cheryl in accounting. She sounded like a fun and creative person to work with if she could think up something like that mid-afternoon on a Friday.

The rest of the movie was progressing in a strange manner, the mother was figuring out the dance teacher wanted to sex-up her daughter, and the editor was finally relaxing. Two more dogs found their way to the other half of the couch and were sprawled out in a manner similar to the man. Life was going good. Only three new messages beeped on the machine, due to it almost being four in the afternoon and thus closing time.

"Where the hell did those two go? Groceries do not take this long to get. Six hours?" He mused, disgusted at finding himself wanting to know how the movie ended. "They better not be in a hotel doing… Why am I even thinking about that…" The pug, which had somehow squirmed up on his chest, licked at his chin in praise of the thoughts.

The phone began ringing.

"Fuck, spoke to soon. Kakashi always knows how to mess up what might have been a good day." Naruto said as an afterthought.

"Hello. This is Kakashi Hatake of Cherries Co. Sorry I couldn't make it to my phone. If you need information about the expansion, policy, or branches, please call the main company phone line, extension 6323. All others please reply after the beep. Thanks."

"Hey, Kakashi."

Naruto ignored the television the minute the voice electronically echoed from the machine.

"It's me, Sasuke. I need your help with something. The usual with him not letting me go anywhere without him. You know how to reach me. Give me a call later tonight."

The television was turned off, the gentle beep from the answering machine sounding extremely loud in the living room.

Naruto sighed. Kakashi messed up another good day.

**'splainin' 2 do**

"Explain."

Kakashi leaned back on his chair until it balanced on the two back legs, admiring the view of Iruka bent over to take something out of the oven.

"Yo!" Naruto pushed on the base of the chair so it slammed back onto the ground. The editor was sitting in the chair opposite of Kakashi; the cuffs on his once immaculate shirt rolled up and covered in dog spit. "Answer me. What the hell was Sasuke calling you up for?"

"Eh, Sasuke? Wasn't he that little fling you had a while ago? Why'd he be calling me?"

The grinding of Naruto's teeth sounded painful. "He was my personal chef. Nothing happened."

"Sure. And that's the reason why he suddenly quit. And why him and I are now good friends. Very good friends." Kakashi's eyebrows waggled in a disturbing manner.

"What the fuck are you trying to get at? Nothing happened with us!"

A moment passed and the features of the vice president seemed to become even more lecherous.

"Oh god…Kakashi. Please tell me you didn't…" He shot a look at the other man oblivious at the stove. "I know you guys have a kinda open relationship, but Sasuke is at least twenty years your junior…"

Iruka laughed as he cut a hole on the surface of the casserole he just pulled out, obviously eavesdropping. "Kakashi. Stop badgering Naruto." He placed the knife on a small stand, grabbing his glass of water and walking over, a hand rubbing over his lover's shoulders. "I can tell you if it's really bothering you.

"Sasuke is a very close friend of Kakashi's." He held up a hand to stop the curse words beginning to form, "Not recent. They met when Sasuke was in grade school. Kakashi used to be a business partner with his cousin, Obito. That's that."

His brown eyes crinkled with mirth, "Kakashi hasn't been having a secret affair with him, if that is what you're worried about." The hand moved through the bush of grey hair, massaging Kakashi's scalp.

"You know what? I'll let you two talk this over. Have some potpie if you get hungry. I'll feed the guys out back." Iruka grinned, patting both men on their heads as if they were the furry animals, making his way to the back door with an indulgent smile.

"He really is just dating you for your dogs." Naruto waited until Iruka was out of earshot before blandly saying this.

Kakashi gave a heartrending sigh, moodily shaking his head in agreement at the sad statement. "I guess I can be happy with that for the time being." He tapped his fingers on the table, a brief staccato.

"Kakashi…I need to know." The blond leaned against the table. "If only to try and make things right. A phone number? Email?"

"No can do. He'd kill me." Two different colored eyes focused on Naruto, "And we both know he would follow up on that threat."

His forehead furrowed for a moment, hand running lazily over a five-o'clock shadow. "There might be someone you could see, if you can get in to see him. VIP.

"Of course, if you mention Sasuke in anyway you might end at the bottom of the Hudson River.' Kakashi grinned. "He's very sensitive when someone shows interest in little Sasuke."

"I'll do what I need to. Get me in contact with this person who holds Sasuke's strings."

**lol.**

**Author's Notes**

I really wanted to keep this a oneshot… But then somehow plot formed... There will be a closet sex scene next chapter. I guarantee it. (OMG, that means there has to be more of this!)

Review, I guess, if you want to see if Naruto and Sasuke actually get together. Or if you just want them to have awesome, guilt-free, randy sex again.

Both are good.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

Take one brooding chef. Add a blond playboy. Mix until firm. Sample to taste.

**Author's Notes**

SEX SCENE. YES. AWESOME.

Oh, yeah…I might be going to grad school at RIT? wut?

**u lik 2 drink?**** so du we!  
**

"You ass-ramming dick wad!"

Naruto smiled politely at the soccer mom standing next to him. Who was giving him a highly offended look at the words being screeched from his mobile. He shot a similar look back when he saw what she was dressed in.

Synthetic tights were never in style, especially in broad daylight. Don't listen E! Channel.

"I can't believe you fucking expect me to help you after left me, shit eater! I was happy with you and you were off cum-guzzling a twink faggot on my couch. The couch I found the next day covered in dried jizz.

"THE COUCH YOU HELPED ME PICK OUT FOR OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY.

"You called me up earlier at fucking four in the morning like the prick you are. Expecting me to help you with your fucked up life. My pussy ain't being taken out to dinner, I don't want to deal with you, motherfucker."

The voice abruptly cut off and Naruto grinned. He looked up when the crowd began to move, noting that the mother was far away but her young son was smiling and shooting the editor a 'thumbs-up'. The blond swiped his finger across the screen of his phone to display his address book again, tapping redial as he crossed a busy intersection of New York City.

"I though I bit off your head enough last time, thunder cunt." A marginally less enraged voice picked up after one ring.

"Ah, Temari." Naruto clucked as he headed towards 18th street. "I knew you'd pick up."

"What do you want? Really, Naruto? Piss off. You've done enough damage. Do you really want me to call in a job for you?"

Temari Sunagakure used to be a nice young girl who was born and raised in California. Nicknamed SunnyGirl by her friends and father's business partners, she once played the blond haired angel lead in the soap, _'Heaven on Earth'_. This earned her an Emmy and freedom from her controlling family.

Now she was the jilted ex-lover of Naruto Uzumaki and senior-partner of the highly powerful New York law firm SKay. Wearing four-inch heels with tight pencil skirts and wielding the power to crush companies, she became a woman who could hold her own in the dog-eat-dog world of corporate finance. With the ability to call her wealthy parents on the west coast and hundreds of powerful clients sprawled along the east coast, Temari had been transformed from a hapless valley girl into a force of nature to be reckoned with.

Naruto was too stupid to realize this before he crushed her heart.

He was also too stupid to realize her father was head of the California mafia family 'business'.

"I have two pretzel croissants in my possession. I may be getting Starbucks to go along with them. Were wondering if you wished to join me on such a fine morning."

There was resentful rustling on the other end.

"What's the catch?"

Naruto flinched at the steel behind the voice, knowing that there was no way he was going to get out of this encounter with his dignity or his balls. Maybe he should try and fumble his was into meeting Temari. It might be better for his health and body parts if she didn't know the real reason. "Kakashi told me to talk to you. That you'd help me with mfmfdkfd…"

"Take your mouth off someone's dick before you answer a question." A long, self-suffering sigh came from the phone. "Fine, if Kakashi sent you. Let me get out of bed on my only scheduled, one-day off a month and help you.

"Get me a venti, four pump peppermint, one pump white mocha, three scoops vanilla bean powder, extra ice frappuchino. Four shots poured over the top with caramel both underneath and on top of the extra whipped cream. Double cupped.

"I will meet you at Times Square, 9 o'clock sharp. Make it worth my time."

With his privates intact after the digital encounter, and it being only eight in the morning, Naruto grinned at the blank screen of his phone. Things were possibly going to plan. It was a crowded, loud and smelly Tuesday morning in New York City. The autumn leaves on the ground were soggy from a rainstorm earlier in the day, and they were destroying his designer boots, but nothing could bring his spirits down.

"Yo! Fuckwad! Get yur body of the fuckin' intersection and yur head outta yur ass!"

Ignoring the cab driver that was giving him the finger, the editor from California jauntily hopped up the curb and made his way uptown.

**get mah bottlez, brin tem 2 me!  
**

Eating one of the pretzel croissants, spending 45-minutes in Starbucks trying to get two drinks, and almost getting run over by a horse-drawn carriage, Naruto finally made it to Times Square. Ignoring the tourists who were taking pictures of the tall buildings and being scammed into buying fake purses, he made his way over to the section filled with small wrought-iron tables and chairs. Seated in one, with a scowl on her features, was the person he came to see.

Dressed like a model straight from a magazine shoot, his ex watched his approach with hooded eyes. Unnaturally blonde hair, created by an artist with good dye sense and highlighting tools, was pulled back into four sloppy pigtails that most likely took two hours to style by a trained professional. A white, crocodile, Birkin dangled from the crook of her arm and a pair of Coach glasses rested nonchalantly on top of her head.

The minute the drink touched down she began.

"You're late. Half an hour, Naruto. Jesus Christ." Her fingers went up to massage the bridge of her nose. "Why did you force me out of bed again? Really. I would have loved to simply sleep for the rest of the day."

"Now, Temari, I know we didn't breakup on the best of terms…"

She snorted, taking a big gulp from the highly caffeinated offering, "There were no terms. I dumped your ass the minute I found out you were fucking someone behind my back." Perfectly manicured nails tapped against the side of the cup, "Of course, I am willing to help you because that is what a good Christian would do."

"…You're not Christian."

"Don't bust my chops, I just said I'd help you. Don't read between the lines." Temari stabbed her straw through the liquid, causing Naruto to flinch at the quick, violent movement.

"Actually, my family wanted to know how Kakashi was…" She stirred the frothy drink thoughtfully, her dark blue eyes gazing off at that congested morning traffic. "Last time I saw that idiot he had half his face sawed off and was being airlifted to a hospital…"

Naruto took a sip from his twelve-pump classic black tea lemonade to clam his jitters from being in the presence of an ex-girlfriend. "Well… It looks like the doctors did their job. His jaw looks fine, no scarring. I mean, the eye looks terrifying due to the constant hemorrhaging and the eye drops, but considering he can still use it after a knife decided to land in the socket…Kinda cool when you think of him having two different eye colors…"

He lapsed into a thoughtful silence when she didn't respond, the bustling crowd covering any insult she might have voiced.

"I really need your help, Temari."

The mafia princess turned lawyer shrugged, "I don't know if I can help you, and I don't really know if I want to help you." She tucked back an errant flyaway behind her ear. "Why did you call me?"

"Because you're smarter than me and you know everyone there is to know on this side of the country."

"That's true on so many levels I don't know where to start. All right." She hunched over her drink, shaking off the previous conversation, "A truce from this point on. Everything in the past is in the past, and the future is the only thing you can fuck up from now on."

"I need to know everything about the CEO of GenInc?"

"And there you go, fucking it up form the get-go. Though I have a feeling Kakashi might have had his hand in this pie of shit." A gusty sigh as if the world had been placed on her shoulders, "That guy is possibly the most fucked-up control freak on this coast.

"He owns GenInc after he took over it from the inside. Really dirty takeover. Very hush-hush, since it revealed the scandal with the president making sex tapes with sixteen year olds."

"That doesn't seem so bad." Naruto didn't realize that they were both whispering, hunched over so their noses were almost touching. "Happens all the time in Hollywood."

"But with sixteen year old boys? When he was married with a baby on the way. As I said," She leaned back, triumphant, "Scandal of the third degree.

"Anyway," Temari flicked an arm covered with bangles to banish the unimportant gossip, "Supposedly he brought GenInc into the spotlight. Something to do with advanced materials and non-breakable flat screen televisions." She picked a piece of lint off her wool coat to stall for time to think.

"Besides that, I don't really know anything else about him. He doesn't come to parties. Doesn't do anything remotely scandalous. Doesn't seem to do anything except work, make a shit-ton of money, and use his private jet for visits to California." A grin lit up her features, causing a passerby to snap a picture because she looked like she could possibly be an undercover movie star.

The grin quickly soured.

"Oh you cunt puncher!"

Naruto flinched and almost caused his cup to topple off the table, "What? What! I didn't do anything!"

"I know exactly why you called me up. Truce off!" Her hand made a violent chopping motion, completely opposite to her hissed words. "You're trying to find him! The guy who you slept with!"

"I am not!"

"I know for a fact that you are trying to find Sasuke Uchiha!"

Blinking at the accusation, which was true, Naruto took another big swallow from his drink. When Temari was this angry it was best not to make sudden movements.

"You didn't think I would figure it out? That I would think it was our landscaper you banged? The poor slob doesn't speak a lick of English, must less want to give you a rimjob."

Disinterested eyes took in the poor prick in front of her, the way his baffled stare looked at her in confusion. "Naruto. I may be blonde, but I'm not dense. The only reason you'd come to New York, one of the cities you hate most in this world, is if you were after someone. I was just smart enough to realize that someone wasn't me."

She massaged her forehead, tired of the conversation and wanting to finish it as quickly as possible. "Whatever. The CEO and Sasuke are close. One of those couples that they rave about in Cosmo and People week after week."

Naruto's eye narrowed slightly at the comment. Sasuke had never even mentioned a connection with GenInc the entire time he was employed. For all he knew, the chef had been banging a multi-billionaire behind his back.

Temari tapped a cigarette out of its pack and lit up. "The only way you'll find out anything about the CEO is meeting him in person. You're an editor. Use Kakashi's name, and your own to get an interview or something with the reclusive asshole. That's all I can tell you."

She crossed her legs and reached into her purse, pulling out a Prada wallet. Flipping a couple fifty-dollar notes on the table, Temari used her finger to scoop the whipped cream oozing from the top of her drink container. She pulled a small business card out, scrawling a phone number on the back. "What I've told you, and that little tidbit, should cover everything. Watch what you say, or he'll lock your princess in a tower. Don't contact me again.

"And, Naruto? A little piece of advice: if you accidentally allow someone to fall on your dick, try not to be in a semi-permanent relationship." She blew a mouthful of smoke into the man's face.

"You were always too good for me." He sputtered, waving a hand and taking a quick swallow of fresh air. "The only good thing going for me."

The woman stood abruptly, slid down her shades that wouldn't be released until December and shifted the bag worth someone's annual salary onto her shoulder.

"Damn fucking straight."

**let me c ur handz**

Naruto sighed as he showed his press badge yet again to a security guard.

On the lower level of the building, where the general public was allowed, GenInc was more than accommodating. The walls covered with various products, including a 72-inch television screen that was made of their patented silicon gel-alloy material. Supposed to be unbreakable.

Resting next to it, for the use of visitors, was an aluminum bat used to test this marketing ploy.

But the minute one passed the metal detectors behind the lobby desk to get to the stomach of the multibillion-dollar beast, there seemed to be a guard at each corner asking to see identification. Obviously guarding both the technology created and the brilliant minds that made it possible, the editor couldn't help but stick out like a sore thumb.

Where business suits, lab coats, and uniforms reigned supreme, in his casual khaki and band t-shirt, Naruto was the odd man out.

"Hey, Danika." The officer spoke into his walkie-talkie, "I have an unknown on the sixth floor. Naruto Uzumaki." A burst of static as the man released the button for a moment, looking at the picture on the ID and comparing it with the blond standing in front of him, "Says he has an appointment with the bastard."

Naruto assumed 'bastard' was a slip of the tongue on the man's part.

"Ah, the asshole?"

'Of course assuming makes an ass out of you and me,' Naruto thought indulgently.

There was a brief second of crunching as the woman on the other end finished her lunch. "Oh, hey, Tim. You can send him up. There's a media appointment I have down for that name in ten minutes." A short laugh, and the sound of a squeaking chair, "Of course, I saw his little lover going in a half hour ago. Good luck"

The high-pitched beep of the walkie-talkie echoed slightly in the tall hallway as Tim directed the editor towards an elevator that was recessed in the wall. After being directions to go to the top, all forty-five floors, Naruto was told that the CEO's secretary would be sure to give him the low-down on how long he would actually have to wait to see who was in charge.

Finding the behavior of the guards a little off-putting, the editor was not expecting much when the elevator gave a soft chime upon reaching his destination. Looking into the hall, and seeing that it only extended into forever in both directions, he decided to pick a direction and start moving.

The walls were a pale grey with dark blue trimming the ceilings, large windows every couple of feet allowing sunshine to filter through. Large couches, made of leather, sat in corners where plants basked in temperature-controlled climates and had daily waterings from women in pencil skirts.

All in all, it was a very beautiful business building. Naruto smiled as he strolled down the hallway, nodding to an intern who bustled past with documents spilling from his arms. The day was slowly shaping up to be something bearable.

Sure, Temari had ripped him a new one. Maybe he never would actually get an appointment with the CEO. Also, Kakashi might be secretly banging Iruka behind his back, but all together? The day seemed to be going a little smoother.

"Finally I'll get some answers." Naruto murmured as he walked toward the pair of huge mahogany desks that flanked the door. A primped woman seated at each; one with a headset glued permanently to her ear who seemed to be fielding questions about a low-density plastic and its properties. The other seemed more interested in typing rapidly on her keyboard while frowning at her chipped manicure.

Neither woman looked up as the blond editor came within speaking distance, not even glancing from their work when the dark wood door opened to allow the previous appointment to exit. The 'lover of the bastard', as the two guards had joked over the radio waves, seemed occupied with giving a few soft words over his shoulder while his body remained outside the office.

After the brief interlude, and the large door clicked close, the 'lover' was revealed to be Sasuke Uchiha in a heavily rumpled suit.

The man looked down at his phone in frustration, fingers dancing across the screen in an attempt to answer an email. His black hair was mussed, as if a hand had passed through it numerous times, and one cheek looked smaller as he chewed on it in thought. His eyes looked unfocused as he walked forward, only concentrating on the stupid phone that wouldn't dial in his hands.

This concentration was ruined as soon as a pair of scuffed UGG boots came into sight. The ugliest pair of shoes that ever existed, that had often been found abandoned in the kitchen where they could be easily tripped over in the middle of the night. A pair of shoes that would never been replaced, repaired or thrown out because they had been a gift from a grumpy chef who had wanted to poke fun at his womanizing employer.

"Shit…" The word took its time being pushed out from behind his teeth. He looked up slowly and saw the blond he had been trying to avoid for over two months standing in front of him as if he had been waiting.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke looked both ways in a sudden paranoia, making sure one of the secretaries hadn't looked up from painting her nails. "Come with me!" He snarled, pulling his past employer after him. Another look in both directions, yanking a random door open quickly, the chef shoved the slightly taller man inside.

"You idiot!" Sasuke hissed, pushed up against the door in the cramped janitor's closet. "What are you doing here?" He repeated after realizing the answer wasn't given, even angrier at the sudden, unpleasant, surprise.

"I came to find you." Blue eyes moved down an inch to stare into a pair of narrowed, and fully pissed-off ones.

A crude comment died on pale lips. "What do you mean? Naruto, why are you trying to find me? I worked for you, and I left instead of slapping you with a sexual harassment suit. Isn't that enough?"

Naruto grinned as his hands took control and eased their way onto the business suit-clad hips opposite his, "I mean exactly what I said. I came to find you. I didn't want you to leave. I wanted to talk to you in the morning but you were gone."

A brief pause of silence, then Sasuke snorted at the idiot. "He didn't talk to you yet." He nodded in understanding. "Once you talk to him, everything will be fine, you'll leave me the fuck alone and I can finally find another job. It's a little difficult to find something when your crazy boss called up everyone on the west coast and told them not to hire you.

"Now, though it was nice seeing you again, Naruto, don't be angry if I decide to never repeat it." He said, sure of his escape. Pushing away the hands on his body and moving as if he had been a born athlete, Sasuke turned around to exit the closet as quickly as possible.

Expecting the brunet to disappear, yet again, the editor grinned when the hands fruitlessly jiggled the door latch.

"It's locked." Sounded a little like a wail of desperation.

"It's locked?"

"Shit."

A gift from someone who liked him up there.

"A-ah! Naruto!" Sasuke stuttered when a pair of hands moved up the front of his chest like a tentacle monster in a cheesy hentai. "What the hell are you doing?"

"You liked it when I did this," The editor whispered, gently sucking on the back of his throat. Sasuke was shocked at the movement that he didn't notice the buttons on his shirt being undone or one of the hands slipping inside. "And I think I remember something positive when I did-"

At his nipple being twisted, a little harshly than necessary, Sasuke squirmed around so he was facing his assailant. "Naruto. Not here. Seriously. There are two women, literally, sitting outside most likely listening in who are as old as our mothers."

"Do you ever learn?" Naruto leered as his hands dipped into the pants that pooled around pale hips. "That just eggs me on." The smile faded for a second in shock only to return twice as strong.

The day was shaping up _quite_ nicely.

"Nothing? Again? Do you ever learn?" He grinned while running the back of one hand through the curls, the other moving to kneed at the tense stomach muscles and the tip of the gruesome scar that he had seen only once. "When I see you again, you better be wearing-"

Sasuke painted his upper lip with heat.

"You talk too fucking much." He grumbled, his fingernails biting through Naruto's thin t-shirt as he repeated the process on his lower lip. His breath came easy, softly, only hitching when the blond accidentally dug a thumb a little too deep into the scar.

A bite on the tan throat in retribution caused both hands to ricochet up to his shoulders, pushing the shirt and jacket down to his elbows.

Naruto stared down at his chest as if he had never seen it before. And maybe he hadn't, considering last time it had been dark and Naruto had been too busy exploring the lower portion of Sasuke's body. One of his fingers finally moved, making a slow trail from his clavicle to around the lower curve of his left pectoral. He other hand mirrored the movement, following the slash of the scar, passing over the slamming heart of the chef and stopping on a nipple.

Sasuke held fast as he explored his chest with the lightest of touches, circling the one nipple that had been abused earlier, tracing the widest, jagged edge of the scar that was only a few centimeters from his heart, outlining the dip created from his collar bone. He heard Naruto's breath coming faster, feel the moistness covering his neck where the head was buried.

Then he bent his head to take his nipple into his mouth.

"S-Shit! Naruto!" He forced his hands to move, attempting to stop the big blond head from traveling to the other nipple. "We need to stop now! I'm going to kill you!"

"You need to take off your pants." Naruto replied, continuing to pant and lap against the cook's neck, ignoring the death threats being mumbled under his partner's breath. "You need to take off your pants and listen to me."

A brief scuffle happened, with Sasuke trying to keep his clothes on. It didn't matter that he wasn't wearing underwear, the janitor's closet they were in was not sexy and not sanitary and he was not going to get a handjob in here. Naruto argued that he wasn't getting a handjob, and the closet was very romantic, and he just wanted to talk.

"Talking isn't so bad!" He grinned, hand rubbing up and down on Sasuke's cock, which he had finally grabbed a hold of. His long fingers caressed the bare skin on the chef's back and behind, "I'm talking right now, and you seem fine with it!"

Rather than allowing Sasuke to respond, which no doubt the smartass would, Naruto released the dick and grabbed the back of Sasuke's legs to hoist him up. He snickered and smiled when finished, continuing to work on the hickey in front of him.

Of course, what man wouldn't grin when a sexy man naturally wrapped his legs around your waist?

Then again, a grin can always get larger. Like slamming the back of your partner against the door when they dig their nails into your chest in impatience.

"Get to work." Sasuke smirked at the blue eyes that were even with his own due to his new position. "I don't have all day to wait for you to get ready."

The snide comment flew away as Naruto stroked his middle finger along the seam between his ball sack and anus. His legs widened even more, allowing the editor to move closer and their cocks to bump. He glanced down and watched a small stream connect the two, a bead of his precum having leaked out and covered the bottom half of his dick.

When the first finger sank in he didn't even notice, too busy concentrating on keeping himself up in the arrangement by pushing his back against the door. The added finger increased the tension but wasn't anything new. The scissoring was underscored with Naruto's thumb massaging up against his perineum.

Sasuke gasped. "A-ah! Warn a guy! Fuck!" He hissed when, instead of the usual three fingers, Naruto simply thrust in while the teeth of his jean's zipper rubbed roughly against the underside of Sasuke's dick. "I didn't want this!"

"You'll like it." Naruto whispered into his ear, his words sounding strained as he sheathed himself and resisted the urge to begin slamming into the scowling chef staring at him. "I'm good. I'm good because I like it."

Sasuke moved one of his arms down and pushed away the hand gripping his hip, letting his entire weight settle on the older man. "I don't want this and I don't do this in a janitor closet." He tried to pinch Naruto in the stomach, his scowl fading as his plan backfired and he touched his own cock, which caused him to stiffen and groan in chorus with Naruto.

"I get it. This isn't exactly roses and restaurants." Naruto gave a shallow thrust, "And you're prissy. You never do anything fun." He smiled when any retort Sasuke had died when he hit that one spot.

Deep slide. Pause.

"Bastard."

Back out.

"Moody chef."

Clenching of muscles on the tip of the penis still inside him.

"Playboy."

Hard thrust back in, making Sasuke's teeth snap together.

"My moody chef."

He was going to kill him. He was going to kill him, throw his body on the cramped closet floor, and then finish this off himself. In a non-demanding, non-frustrating, non-Naruto manner that would end without the snarky comments.

Stroke, slide, stroke, thrust.

"Uzumaki!" Sasuke hissed, grunting in slight pain at the abuse his prostrate was undergoing.

Naruto sank in fast and deep, deeper than before, with the base of his shaft hitting against the smaller man's backside with a wet slap.

"Don't worry, Sasuke." He breathed into the ear near his mouth, taking the lobe and giving it a sharp yank. "I'm here." And then he sealed his lips against the chalky pale ones that had been cursing at him the entire time, setting off a chain reaction.

Sasuke came, splurting all over Naruto's orange t-shirt with a muted curse.

He tightened around Naruto as if he never wanted his cock to leave, resulting in the blond shoving his tongue into the chef's mouth to continue thrusting as his own seed burst out and coated the inner walls of Sasuke in white.

Even after his cock went soft, Naruto left it inside, feeling it begin to harden as he gazed at the heavy, dark eyes of Sasuke trying to gauge what just happen. The editor almost started pounding into him again when a wet tongue drifted out to lick at a swollen bottom lip, but the shakiness of his legs reminded him that he was not in a position prone for long periods of time.

"Shit." Sasuke grumbled, leaning against the door as he watched the blond tuck himself back in, zipping up quickly. He moved his hand through the small amount of semen that had splattered on his stomach, already cooling, and looked at the bigger amount on Naruto.

"Take my jacket. It might be small but at least you'll be presentable for later." He shimmied his shoulders, grabbing the dark coat before it hit the floor and handing it to the editor. The chef couldn't help but smile softly when the other man couldn't seem to figure out how to put it on, remembering when he had to help Naruto put on his tie every morning after breakfast.

"I think I might like you a little." Sasuke murmured quietly, buttoning up his shirt and ignoring the wrinkles that ruined the ironed creases in his pants, using this as an excuse to not look up at his ex-employer. Yanking his slacks up, and finding them presentable, he turned to the man who hadn't said anything since he came.

The brunet groaned at the stupid expression of joy on the editor's face. "Listen. I just said I like you, and that we should try and work this out." He stepped out of the closet and into the artificial light, ignoring the call from one of the secretaries. "Try not to be such an idiot." He sighed, eyes closing for moment as he tugged at his suit that was even more wrinkled than when he left the office of his 'lover'.

"Go to your meeting." A sigh as a hand tugged its way through the rats' nest made from his hair. "He's probably ready. Give me a call later, I guess."

Sasuke turned and seemed to sprint down the hallway towards the elevators just as Naruto was able to ask about his 'relationship' with the CEO.

Shrugging as he tucked in his shirt before he left the safety of the janitor's closet, the blond editor couldn't stop a small smile from emerging. "Give him a call later. He likes me." He murmured, giving a nod to the filthy mop as he exited.

Naruto grinned as he walked past the two women, ignoring a quick shout from one when he walked straight into the office. He had found Sasuke. The other man wasn't totally disgusted with him. They could 'work things out'. They just had closet sex.

The day was totally looking up.

"Hi! I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" He held out a hand, waiting for the man to look up. When nothing happened, he continued, "I have an interview with you for my magazine?" He frowned when the CEO continued with his work, effectively ignoring him. After five minutes, Naruto's thought naturally resumed their perusal of the chef he had finally found.

The way he arched as he moaned. How his hair clung to his sweaty neck when he looked down. The fact that the nervousness he had in the beginning vanished once his clothes did the same.

"Sit. Now." A firm voice broke into his thoughts, evaporating his analysis of the red hickey he had made on Sasuke's nipple.

Scrambling for a seat, the editor stared into a pair of blood red eyes that watched him over a large stack of paperwork.

Though Naruto wasn't one to often judge male beauty, except when it came to broody chefs, the older man sitting in front of him was something of a prime example. Black eyes turned red when a stray gleam of light hit them. Blue highlights gleamed in dark hair, contrasting with the faint color of his skin. One hand held an inkwell pen, signing an important document that would gain his company hundreds of millions of dollars, possibly even billions.

"So. You're Naruto Uzumaki? Head-editor of…" A look of boredom leaked onto the pale features. "Head-editor of something inconsequential."

A man who was a complete asshole.

The CEO stood and went to the large window behind his desk; tailored suit fitting him like a second skin while the long ponytail gleamed its way down his back. "I've been told that you employed Sasuke for some time. I thank you for that.

"I know he can be some trouble."

A smirk latched onto the CEO's face when Naruto's grip on the armrests exaggerated.

"Ah, so he has been some trouble for you. Well, I'll be sure to tell him next time." The man prowled over to a bar set on the side of the room. "Would you like a drink?"

"No thank you, Mr. Itachi." Naruto grit the name through his teeth, spitting out the name on the engraved plate like a curse word.

"That is too bad. I'm sure Sasuke would have liked a drink."

"Because even though he is trouble, he is a very nice young man." He took a sip of the vodka tonic, "A pleasure for anyone and everyone he works for." The smirk grew more pronounced at the sneer that formed on the editor's face, seeing where the conversation was going.

"In fact, I could say that everyone he worked for has told me he is very pleasurable and very thorough." The drink vanished down his throat as he allowed the words to sink in, a quick gaze to the left showing him that the blond had paled considerably. "He does know how to have fun.

"And I know you've had your fun with Sasuke. You might have kissed him. May have touched him. In fact, you might have bent him over a table and fucked him." The smile on Itachi's face looked a little less stable when he spoke of Sasuke in this manner, taking a long glance at Naruto's t-shirt that was peeking out.

The t-shirt that had a small amount of cum on the neckline.

"You may have even thought of having a relationship with him." An eyebrow rose over dark eyes, judging the younger man and finding him wanting. "But it's time to end it."

Slim fingers organized a pile of papers before the man, majority owner of GenInc, stood and turned to look down on the city. It was no longer necessary to look at the man whose mouth was open like a fish.

"You, Naruto Uzumaki, will no longer see, touch or attempt to contact Sasuke." The thin lips pressed into a narrow line when the blond did nothing in response, mouth still hanging open in confusion. "I am giving you twenty-five million dollars to hold you to this oral contract."

"I don't understand. Who are you to Sasuke?"

A hand quickly pulled out a pre-cut check, a signature scrawled on the bottom of two lines. Right underneath the 'two signatures required if over $500,000' warning printed on every company check.

"I am someone who makes sure he does not make too many stupid mistakes. I take care of him. Now, Mr. Uzumaki, do you understand the terms?

Naruto nodded in agreement, eyes looking over the businessman's right shoulder to look at the cityscape.

"Good. This meeting is adjourned."

**gurl, i gotta c u 2nite**

**Author's Notes**

Lol. Please don't make too much fun of my sex scene. I don't know if it worked out too well, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging for too much longer. I actually have most of the next chapter planned out! Kinda! Planned! Out! OMG.

Review! It will actually make me work faster! REVIEW. D:


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